Here is a great quote from C. S. Lewis, brought to you via a quick lookup in goodreads:
Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.
Now, language being what it is, it's often the case that we use 'childish' in a negative sense, and 'childlike' in a positive one. 'Infantile' is another word that belongs firmly in the negative as well.
But let me pull in some additional perspectives for context before we try to look at the ideas behind the words.
Children in Traditions
Christian traditions generally have a very favorable opinion of children. The kingdom of heaven belongs to them after all. Christians are encouraged to be pure of heart, like children.
There is also a famous passage about "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I felt as a child, I thought as a child: now that I am become a man, I have put away childish things." - but I've always read this more as comment on maturity and progression (especially in the context of growing in someone's faith, rather than a rebuke of childhood).
In Stoicism, we get "a child can teach us much about the plainness of living." The emphasis is on starting children early on a path to growth in virtue, but although it's rarely stated as such, a lot of it ends up being on 'shedding' things we pick up along the way like pride or a desire to control events.
I decided to look into Buddhism as well to see what kind of positive attributes we might see in children, but most of the literature I found discussed how to teach to children, rather than learning from them. A notable exception is Buddhist Understanding of Childhood Spirituality, which does discuss the spirituality of chidlren, including experiences of awe and wonder.
Some Takeaways
Here are some things I think we can take away from considering child-like qualities.
- Taking oneself or one's work not too seriously is something many adults sorely lack, which I often take as a sign of cultural norms or personal insecurity. I think the perspective that lets us do that is actually a rather evolved sense in fact. Adults can have an informed perspective and come all the way around.
- There is also an aspect of not being self-conscious, and of lacking pride. Small children will often laugh at their own mistakes just as much as anything else.
- Children are often able to focus on something with amazing intensity. They are also quite capable of making a mountain of the smallest of things, so buyer beware.
Of taking your circumstances and running with them. - Children often approach new situations with an open mind. They are used to not knowing, and react by exploring and learning.
Some Balance
Now, parents and people regularly hanging out with children will attest that there is a lot of growth to be had. I encourage ourselves to put things into perspective and take the good.
Much like a focus on 'adult'-ness can lose some positive elements of childhood, it would be equally silly to put every attribute children display up on a pedestal (not that children are a homogenous group in any case).
Happy silliness!
Tags: meditation philosophy